ORIGINAL FARM - THE FUNNY FARM

Sunday night, we were about to sit down to dinner when we heard a loud ruckus outside. It sounded like the people in the back yard. Now, that may not sound unusual for the most of you, yet when you consider our back yard looks like this photo. . . and the nearest neighbor is at least .3 miles away, you might understand how surprised we were to find 4 grown men running down our hillside and around the 4-car garage.

I stepped outside and asked in a loud "outside voice" What the xm#% are you guys doing here?" The lead man stopped, breathless saying "don't shoot." To which I raised my air rifle (AKA arms outstretched with finger pointed and pulling my make-believe trigger with my right hand - pitchu!).

What on earth are you doing on our property?

He said, "did you see the cow go by?

What an obvious question, I thought as I hit myself on the head with the flat of my hand. Why was I not watching out for "the cow?" Doesn't everyone see cows marching through their yard? I mean. I do live on an Urban Farm, duhh!!

He said, "Our cow got loose and we think it went this way."

From the back, I heard one of the others (I will call him Daniel Boone) say, Yes, here are its tracks."

I am thinking, Onward Tonto!!

Now I had been at the house off and on all day, as had Tim and our contractor, yet we did not see a cow go by. We all must have been in a trance and unable to see a 1000 lb+, 4-legged black animal stroll across the yard. Maybe it was a spy cow - let's call him Boris, camouflaged, carefully hiding behind trees so as not to be seen. Yeh, that's it.

"Daniel Boone' then said, "the tracks lead this way". . . and off they went. This pretty much unnerved both Tim and me. Tim went to the front door and watched them scamper down the road toward barn - not sure why. Did they think Boris would let himself in? Maybe Boris was tired and wanted to get some rest. snuggle in with the chickens on the roost. Or not.

Tim had decided to monitor the situation up close and personal. He got into the Polaris with his good friends Smith&Weson and headed out to assess the situation.

The men continued down the drive to the bee hives. At that point, either they were out of breath or they thought Boris might be hiding among the bees. At any rate. when Tim returned to the house, he elected to continue his vigilance and watched the men for a good 5 minutes as they chatted at the hives. Then all 4 took off down the gravel road and disappeared.

Tim and I then convened to discuss whether this was real or just a bunch of bull. So I went out exploring, and low and behold, I found the tracks, leading around from the garage, through the back yard toward the barn, then down the gravel road. It was not a twilight caper by these guys - it was real. Run free Boris! (I almost felt like we were in a Disney movie.)

As the sun sank to the west, we monitored activity in the yard, No one or Boris returned, and we settled in for the night. However, I then put on my realtor hat and worked a sales contract until 1:00a, then went to bed.

For some reason, I awakened without an alarm at 6:30a and decided to continue my contract. I was in my office, with full view of the driveway, when I heard an off-the-road vehicle come screaming down the driveway and to the back door. It was our neighbor, Matt.

Still in my jammies and sweatshirt, I answered the door. Matt stopped by to tell me he had captured Boris, put him in the holding pen for the guys to pick up in the morning, and somehow Boris escaped. (Go Boris, go!!). Matt was followed up by a pickup truck, pulling a cattle trailer. The same men from the previous night were inside and were not happy.

About an hour later, a neighbor who lives off highway 100 not too far away sent a text

After that, I left for an appointment. As I drove down our one-lane road, I saw a vehicle stopped in the middle of the road - YES - the Calvary was here. The Wildwood police were now on the case. The officer was chatting with Matt, the neighbor, and they were discussing the daring escape Boris had made to elude his owners. Did he trot off to Rockwoods reservation to hide among the deer? or would he be back?

Matt had actually seen Boris more than anyone else and indicated the direction of Boris' escape

Later that evening, technology, and Matt's RING doorbell caught Boris as he attempted to have a little playground time at dusk. Matt sent a text, "Black Cow spotted tonight. Was 50 feet from the coral before he turned and sprinted into the woods. Live free little guy, live free."

it is now 24 hours later. I sent a text to Matt to see if he had another sighting. He said, "Just found him. He slips into the woods and with all the honey suckle, he is like a ghost cow. Poof, just vanishes." And so the Urban legend of Boris continues. . . . .

EPILOG . .

Boris ran free for a total of 4 days. He was spotted off and on running through the woods, with brief visits to the grassy pasture. However, he made a fatal move. He got thirsty and wandered into the field to the pond to take a drink. He was spotted and the gates were closed.

It took a number of people to corral him, and he was reunited with his family on Thursday early evening. And so the Urban Legend ends.